I am the muthafracken QUEEN of off hand cracks. Sometimes, that gets ime into trouble. Like today when I made an off-hand "crack" typing to my father's cousin - and assumed she knew what a complete asshat he was.
She didn't. She had warm fuzzy childhood memories of my father from before he had shattered and become . . .that.
So, I very bluntly told her that he was a pretty messed up dude, and that I didn't want to shit on her memories by explaining that off-hand crack. I further explained that I'd always assumed that she understood on some level what an asshat he was. I then left it up to her: I would tell her if she asked, or we could just not talk about him.
She very graciously opted to not talk about him. I really meant it. I didn't want to shit on her good memories. I also have to honor myself with the truth about what he was.
Families are a sharp knife-edge to dance. I missed cutting my toes today.
PHEW.
She didn't. She had warm fuzzy childhood memories of my father from before he had shattered and become . . .that.
So, I very bluntly told her that he was a pretty messed up dude, and that I didn't want to shit on her memories by explaining that off-hand crack. I further explained that I'd always assumed that she understood on some level what an asshat he was. I then left it up to her: I would tell her if she asked, or we could just not talk about him.
She very graciously opted to not talk about him. I really meant it. I didn't want to shit on her good memories. I also have to honor myself with the truth about what he was.
Families are a sharp knife-edge to dance. I missed cutting my toes today.
PHEW.
