The Crazy Ping

Had an interesting conversation with a friend last night.

She, my partner & I all went out to a BDSM Munch together. For those of you who don't know, a munch is where a bunch of people who enjoy kinky sex get together to eat & socialize and, well, talk about kinky sex. We also talk about other things too. Its a let your hair down kinda thing.

Well, this particular friend had been a play partner at one time, but is now happily ensconced in a relationship with another person. We're still friends. Good friends I'd say.

So we all went to the restaurant, where we met a bunch of very nice people. One of the women set off my "unstable-dar". She later told me that she was bipolar. I have a healthy respect for people with mental illness of all types. They don't have it easy in our society. However, I also have a healthy wariness. My father used his mental illness (like his mother before him used her diabetes) as a crutch and a whip. It was his excuse to be an immoral bastard.

On our way home from the restaurant, I asked my partner -who had exchanged phone numbers with this woman - to handle the situation with caution. I told him my misgivings, and while I felt she was a nice person, until we were certain she was stable, to please go carefully. My friend asked why I asked this of my partner (who is also my Dom, but that's another conversation). I explained to her that I knew too many people who had problems similar who weren't responsible with their meds. Right now, in my life, I have enough to deal with, and don't want that mess to clean up.

At which point she tole me she was bipolar.

Well, crap. I then had to explain that some of my caution was coming from my "unstable-dar" pinging like mad. I also had to explain that she NEVER EVER made that ping occur. She then told me that she figured out a long time ago that going off the medication is a bad idea, and that the woman made her ping too.

It brought me to an interesting train of thought. Its really a sad state of affairs in our culture that mental illness is such a taboo still. We are in the best time to date to deal with some of these problems, and yet, we still have this stigma attached to admitting the problem even exists.

Mental illness should be no different than diabetes, or blindness, or any other inconvenience. I use the word "inconvenience" because "disability" isn't accurate. I as a diabetic on the fuzzy-to-blind end of vision (okay up close, little distance, no night vision, and good gods don't ask me to pick out colors), I can do anything I set my mind too. Might take me longer, but I can still do it. Mental illness from what I can judge, when handled properly, is the same. You get help, you see a doctor, you take your medication, and you live life. Rinse, repeat. Contrariwise, when not handled properly, it can leave you a gibbering pile of mush in the corner. You know, the same can be said of any other medical condition.

Folks, a dinged up part in an engine doesn't mean the whole car is ready for the scrap yard, and one dinged up part isn't more or less important than another. So why the stigma attached to a dinged up brain, instead of a dinged up endocrine system, or heart, or eyeballs, or legs, or whatever?

Folks, we live on a dumb planet. Here's hoping we figure it out.