I have a friend who is a teacher at a local charter school. The point of this school is to promote social consciousness & all that happy crap. I'm very pro that. Recently, they have been having a problem with transgender intolerance. So, they decided to form a panel of trans and lgbt folks to come and talk to the kids about what they went through and the bullying that they endured - all that not-so-happy-crap. She was telling us about this, and mentioned that one serious gap in the panel was the lack of minorities able to participate, especially those of African descent. She told us how necessary she feels it is, as some of her students who are of African descent are some of those who need most to hear that this isn't cool. She believes - and I'm not really disagreeing - that hearing that from someone who looks like them, who is also queer, will have more impact. She specifically asked that if we have any friends who are of African descent and queer to ask if they would be willing to participate.
I think this is important. I really believe that we MUST teach tolerance to our next generations. I'm also equally passionate about not "picking up the black phone" on problems like this. It is no one's job to explain to the whities how shit works. I get that. I'm an adult who gets that. What I'm pondering at the moment is what to do when those places intersect? What if there is a problem - a problem that transcends race (as many do) - where some kids need shit explained, and I'm not qualified by my life experience to explain it? Is it then okay to ask someone with that life experience to explain it? Is it insulting to do so? Is it racist/sexist/hetero-ist/some-other-ist? I know if someone asked me to explain what my experience was like growing up the way I did that my answer would be some formulation of "fuck off, I don't want to relieve that shit". Do I have the right to ask someone to relieve their trauma (with the understanding that bullying is quite traumatic)? I don't as an adult for my own purposes, but do I have the right to ask that of someone for a child?
It is complicated. Snarly and tangled and more than a bit thorny. For myself, I don't really have anyone to ask. I get to exercise my privilege and ignore this snarly problem. I can do that - or I can type all this mumblety shit up and throw it out to the Universe and see what comes of it. That's really the most I am capable of doing at this time.
Cat, I hope you find someone. I really do.
I think this is important. I really believe that we MUST teach tolerance to our next generations. I'm also equally passionate about not "picking up the black phone" on problems like this. It is no one's job to explain to the whities how shit works. I get that. I'm an adult who gets that. What I'm pondering at the moment is what to do when those places intersect? What if there is a problem - a problem that transcends race (as many do) - where some kids need shit explained, and I'm not qualified by my life experience to explain it? Is it then okay to ask someone with that life experience to explain it? Is it insulting to do so? Is it racist/sexist/hetero-ist/some-other-ist? I know if someone asked me to explain what my experience was like growing up the way I did that my answer would be some formulation of "fuck off, I don't want to relieve that shit". Do I have the right to ask someone to relieve their trauma (with the understanding that bullying is quite traumatic)? I don't as an adult for my own purposes, but do I have the right to ask that of someone for a child?
It is complicated. Snarly and tangled and more than a bit thorny. For myself, I don't really have anyone to ask. I get to exercise my privilege and ignore this snarly problem. I can do that - or I can type all this mumblety shit up and throw it out to the Universe and see what comes of it. That's really the most I am capable of doing at this time.
Cat, I hope you find someone. I really do.
