Quite a lot has happened since I last posted. Moved into and out of a life with a life-partner. Lost 40 lbs. because I couldn't stop vomiting. Have since regained a small measure of health stability and am continuing to lose weight without throwing up - which is generally considered a plus. I've been discovering some stuff about losing weight.
1) I have NO IDEA what I look like. Looking into the mirror helps if you have eyes that work. I'm not recognizing myself when I do look in the mirror and I especially don't when I touch my own body. (yeah, I'm hearing the DiVinyls too) This sensation is. . .disconcerting.
2) Emotions REALLY are stored in fat. When you lose the fat, they come up. Like mushrooms. I HATE MUSHROOMS. I especially hate emotional mushrooms that won't die. I've been having little roller-coasters all the hell over the place at the most inconvenient times humanly possible. I'm informed that I'm doing great at stealth breakdowns. Woot. Go me.
3) My body is disgusting, and it is letting me know it. Whatever I've been doing for the past years has been absolutely gross, and it is coming OUT. I will spare you all the gory details, because deep down I really am a loving person. You're welcome.
4) THIS SHIT FUCKING HURTS! OMG, I didn't know that muscle even BELONGED there. WTH?
Those are the overwhelming thoughts today. This is cross-posting on both blogs, because it kinda fits both.
