Letting Go

My little girl isn't a little girl anymore. She's reached young lady.
Almost 17 years ago, I gave birth to a wonderful & intelligent person. I spent quite a lot of time & energy into raising her to be a wonderful & intelligent person. I taught her to think (not that she always does, or will), I taught her the best of what I know.

She's now befriended my father on Facebook.

When I was told this, at first I got a bit upset (ah, the power of understatement). My father is not a nice person. He's not a kindly old grandpa who goes fishing and makes wooden bird houses. He's a fraud and a cheat and many other more horrible things. At best, he's a drama gatherer.

So, I sat back & thought about it. Then I messaged her. I told her that I wasn't going to ask her to withdraw her friendship from him. That she was old enough to make that decision on her own, but that she needed some information before she could make that decision.

Then I told her everything I knew about her grandfather. I did this as objectively and calmly as I could.

And then I let go. I'm not pursuing it. I meant it when I told her that she is old enough to decide this for herself. She is.

Letting go sucks, but I don't see any alternative. The idea of holding her back in her childhood when she is stepping into adulthood (albeit in this, not in a way I would choose) is reprehensible to me. Yes, she's going to screw up, and in ways I've warned her about and also in ways I can't imagine. Yes, she's going to get hurt. However, I know that I can't prevent that, and I know that she doesn't really want me to. All I can do step back and let her do what she's going to and be there when she wants me there.