Bah Humbug

I think I'm turning into Ebeneezer Scrooge.

Not in a money way. In the Holidays Suck kinda way.

I've been crabby as all hell lately. Couldn't figure out why. Then, this morning on the train, I caught myself just shy of audibly growling at a "Buy your Christmas Presents HERE" advertisement.

I hate the holidays. Always have. I can't ever remember a holiday from childhood that even approached relaxed and groovy. I remember them as times of great stress, with my mother running around to get everything "perfect" before my Aunt got there. I often wondered what would happen if my Aunt had arrived and we'd been our normal, chaos unrestrained household? Would her head have exploded? Really? I honestly don't know. Might have. Its a toss up. My point here is So FREAKING WHAT? The holidays that we went to my Aunts were actually a relief, because Ma didn't stress nearly half as much. She only had to have us looking presentable, and threatened within three inches of our lives if we did ANYTHING that even remotely made my Aunt think we weren't models of tidiness & order. Which we blew out of the water in the first five minutes anyway, but hey, she still didn't stress as much.

I'm happy to say that neither my sister or I give one rat's ass about what the other lives like, as long as she's happy. Seriously. Or at least I think so. If I'm wrong, Elaine, leave me this delusion. Its a good Christmas present!

Years of stress over the holidays has made me a grumpy panda at that time of year. I shouldn't be this year. I'm ahead of schedule on my annual bribes, er gifts, and Nick & I have already planned on a relaxed & groovy time.

Childhood trauma leading to grumpiness is really hard to shake!